Mentos.

I'm in a gun slinging mood, so I've decided to review a game in the field of Bullet Hell, which is Embodiment of the Scarlet Devil (if you don't know what TouHou is, look it up.) I'm finding this game incredibly fun but questionable in places where I am I just going to sit back wide-eyed and say,"What the fuck?" Before I go on about the game, I should give a crash course on Bullet Hell.



That is Bullet Hell. Shoot everything that is (or isn't) in sight and just flood and spam bullets away in a fashionable pattern that makes the player say, "Good God, I died horribly, but the colors are so pretty..." Dodging requires an extremely precise method of pixel-to-pixel movements. Did I also mention that one shot kills? Of course I forgot to mention that, as well as mention that the screenshot up there is shot in-game; at normal difficulty. The difficulties in the game range from easy to insane, which is scary. How to react to all this constant attacking? Well, I suppose you could use your special attack, you know? You just have it lying around, and stuff...



These are very, very, very useful. Why, do you ask? Well, a) It turns almost every single bullet/blade/knife/crystal shard/anything small that harms you into points. Scoff at this now, but look at the figure at the top of the page and you'll be desperate to use these (the giant laser just tends to be a close favorite). Death is certain, you will die at least once, unless you're a God descended from above who knows everything. Honestly, just shoot, kill, and dodge, and you might make it to the "final" boss (notice how I said make might, because even the likelihood of someone making it depends on how well you play, and all bets are off). Even through the amount of continues you have (I believe 3, if I remember correctly), you will lose and die horribly, unless you've become very good at the game. I'd even go as far as to say that if you master this game, you can pretty much beat any shooter game guaranteed, because this game is that hard. It's so hard, that if you master it, everything else will just become easier.

The small conversations between each boss is... odd, to say the least. I'm more inclining to blame it's translators instead of the actual game. Also, I hope you realize that every single girl has a body composure of a 14 year old (which is fine by me, they land in my age group, but I just can't help imagine some, somewhere out there is playing this game and thinking: "Hot DAMN these chicks be fine I'd do 'em in a heartbeat!" And also be 56 years old. *shudders*) The music is amazing, especially the boss fight theme of the unlockable final boss (which I must wanr you, must involve a feat of miracles by beating the whole game in Normal or higher without a continue, and combine this with the thought of 1 hit kills and the image way at the top of this post. Yeah.) which can be downloaded somewhere out in the internet. That's all I have to say. To end it;

DO DO DO DOOO DO DO, DO WAAAAAAH.
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT COMES,
FRESH GOES BETTER IN LIGHT,
WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIFE.
NOTHING GETS TO YOU,
STAYING FRESH, STAYING COOL,
WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIIIIFE!
FRESH GOES BETTER, LIVE SO FRESHLY,
FRESH GOES BETTER WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIIIIIIIFE!