Sunday, 14 June 2009

Mentos.

I'm in a gun slinging mood, so I've decided to review a game in the field of Bullet Hell, which is Embodiment of the Scarlet Devil (if you don't know what TouHou is, look it up.) I'm finding this game incredibly fun but questionable in places where I am I just going to sit back wide-eyed and say,"What the fuck?" Before I go on about the game, I should give a crash course on Bullet Hell.



That is Bullet Hell. Shoot everything that is (or isn't) in sight and just flood and spam bullets away in a fashionable pattern that makes the player say, "Good God, I died horribly, but the colors are so pretty..." Dodging requires an extremely precise method of pixel-to-pixel movements. Did I also mention that one shot kills? Of course I forgot to mention that, as well as mention that the screenshot up there is shot in-game; at normal difficulty. The difficulties in the game range from easy to insane, which is scary. How to react to all this constant attacking? Well, I suppose you could use your special attack, you know? You just have it lying around, and stuff...



These are very, very, very useful. Why, do you ask? Well, a) It turns almost every single bullet/blade/knife/crystal shard/anything small that harms you into points. Scoff at this now, but look at the figure at the top of the page and you'll be desperate to use these (the giant laser just tends to be a close favorite). Death is certain, you will die at least once, unless you're a God descended from above who knows everything. Honestly, just shoot, kill, and dodge, and you might make it to the "final" boss (notice how I said make might, because even the likelihood of someone making it depends on how well you play, and all bets are off). Even through the amount of continues you have (I believe 3, if I remember correctly), you will lose and die horribly, unless you've become very good at the game. I'd even go as far as to say that if you master this game, you can pretty much beat any shooter game guaranteed, because this game is that hard. It's so hard, that if you master it, everything else will just become easier.

The small conversations between each boss is... odd, to say the least. I'm more inclining to blame it's translators instead of the actual game. Also, I hope you realize that every single girl has a body composure of a 14 year old (which is fine by me, they land in my age group, but I just can't help imagine some, somewhere out there is playing this game and thinking: "Hot DAMN these chicks be fine I'd do 'em in a heartbeat!" And also be 56 years old. *shudders*) The music is amazing, especially the boss fight theme of the unlockable final boss (which I must wanr you, must involve a feat of miracles by beating the whole game in Normal or higher without a continue, and combine this with the thought of 1 hit kills and the image way at the top of this post. Yeah.) which can be downloaded somewhere out in the internet. That's all I have to say. To end it;

DO DO DO DOOO DO DO, DO WAAAAAAH.
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT COMES,
FRESH GOES BETTER IN LIGHT,
WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIFE.
NOTHING GETS TO YOU,
STAYING FRESH, STAYING COOL,
WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIIIIFE!
FRESH GOES BETTER, LIVE SO FRESHLY,
FRESH GOES BETTER WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIIIIIIIFE!

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Mini-reviews

Link

Friday, 12 June 2009

Hey there people.

Guess what? My name is the Animator, and I've decided to introduce myself. I'll mostly be here to bother you with reviews that involve rambled opinions that people might listen to or just heed me as a fool without any taste whatsoever with occasional games that I play and enjoy (or not), based solely on what I interpret on what the definition of 'fun' is. Along the way, there will be cheap petty jokes and the occasional screenshot or two. I hope you enjoy.

In fact, to kick off this little party I'm thinking up in my head, I'm going to go ahead and talk about a small, incomplete game made by Konjak called Ivory springs, which involves a blond girl that lives in a realm where mechanics are hunted, persecuted, and killed. You have a gun, a wrench, and a potato sack full of dreams. The incomplete game features 2 bosses and the usual glitch (because, you know, it's incomplete), but even then, it's still beats a lot of games out there. This incomplete, glitchy game has better graphics, music, and feel overall than most games out there, which is terrifyingly dissapointing because it's incomplete! It's supposed to be crappy! And yet, by some odd standard of life, it's not.

It's almost hilarious how the characters act in the game, too. After you beat the first boss and come back to your hut, you get interrogated good-cop/bad-cop style by 2 people of the opposite ends of the social spectrum (an agressive, upbeat character, and a bitter, de-animated always-in-pain girl). You have to see it to believe it. It also centers on a religious theme, this all-benelovent goddess of the Ivory Spring (hint, hint) that has the authorities acting under her will.

One conundrum I find is that the soldiers in the game are outfitted with technological weapons, and there's even that robotic boss straight from their arsenal. I ask you this; how can you make that thing when mechanics are a complete sin and are not allowed to exist in the first place? Then again, I look at ourselves and I'd just slap myself in the face for saying that. Oho, and the ending. Keep in mind, it's an incomplete alpha that will never be finished, but the ending. The puzzle elements are simple enough, it's like that time in Sonic and Knuckles when you'd have to push these stones in order to open a door, and that door would just slowly move down until you escape. Imagine that in a more upbeat and complicated fashion (albeit not badly executed, sometimes it's a pain to time just right, especially that part when you're just pixels away from being able to get the ledge above you, but it's still to high to reach, and you -still- need to rely on the doors. That's just plain mean.)

This video should tell you what's expected. Don't be fooled by it's fast speed, it's much more harder.

If you want to get a good idea of half the part of the game, honestly, just pay attention to the door-opening parts. Imagine this with a wrench, and with actual twisting involved. A bit more of a puzzle element involved. The rest is kill-everything-you-see and then some. That's all I gotta say, though, try it out, it's fun for an incomplete scrap game that will never be expanded. Link.

Last word, the ending will bug you. Forever.

Sunday, 26 April 2009

farbs.org and deconstructive gaming

Gaming has never really been regarded as an artform. Sure, you have your Myst, your Deus Ex, even your Plasma Pong, but nothing to suggest the canonical develoment as a genre that other mediums posess. Video games have always stuck with stories that provide entertainment rather than interest, graphics that look awesome rather that particularly pioneering in new forms of design. The developments come when you get some new technology that can handle something like that headshot effect in Gears of War; the influential parts come from innovative ideas relating to inventories or other features strictly video-game related.

Yet farbs.org approach videogames like they're an artform, and as such the games push the form to its limits. I spent a good while playing their most recent game, Rom Check Fail, just for its surprisingly durable entertainment. Then I realised how weird the game is. I found it on Jay is Games, amongst hundreds of poorly-executed, weird little indie games that, when you're past the concept and the feel of the gameplay, are ultimately pithy and generic.

There's no reason why Rom Check Fail stood out, from Farbs' homepage, they look like another indie game site in a sea of similar ideas, busting out a couple of freeware games purely for fun. Let's start from the top.

Farbs' first game was Polychromatic Funk Monkey, and yes it is as awesome as it sounds. Farbs tells us: "As anyone who's built maps for tile based platforming games would tell you, building maps for tile based platforming games is fun. That's why I made Polychromatic Funk Monkey, a tile based platforming game about building maps for tile based platforming games." If we're looking at this from a deconstructive perspective, Farbs is basically subverting the very idea of making videogames by making a videogame about making videogames. And surprisingly, it works.
It's less about creating levels than it is a platformer where you build stuff. But I have to say the execution is excellent. The Funk Monkey is a grey blob who can pick up the Polychromatic blocks and place them elsewhere to make structures (expect to build a lot of stairs) , in order to reach all nine checkpoints that allow you to carry more blocks. The whole process takes about an hour, isn't that just a damn nice amount of time to play and complete a game? I'm not sure if I'd play again, but if I did, the map is different every time. Funk Monkey is an inoffensive platformer that takes about as long to master as it does to complete, and I thoroughly recommend it.
However it's ultimately flawed. As each point gets higher up, it also gets further. Which sounds like a difficulty curve, especially as you jump for a platform and miss, falling far away from your beautiful stairs into the sky. But, wait, there's no damage or life system. Press alt and you teleport back up to the highest checkpoint, retaining any blocks you've picked up on your fall. As blocks are randomly scattered in the sky, it becomes easier and easier to drop down onto one of these colourful clouds and pick up all the building materials you need.
At first I thought this was a game about making the most of the materials around you and making the most economic structures possible. Instead it is in fact a game about mastering the gameplay. Once you know how far you can jump, you can get up all your stairs pretty quickly. And you can easily work out a couple of tricks to get wherever you like.
It even looks pretty, stark colours on the fixed black background, efficient and controlled.

Farbs' next game, Fishie Fishie doesn't really do much for me. It's a one-button game that looks like Popcap made it, and indeed Farbs has developed a program that helps create games with a similar interface. So, it looks like you're playing Peggle or something, and similarly you only need one button. Now, I'm not sure whether or not Farbs anticipated this interpretation, but I believe that Fishie Fishie is a straight-up parody of the state of casual gaming.
As it is, I found it pretty much unplayable. Your fish has ADD but in his stomach. If he doesn't eat for like two seconds, he dies. Essentially this means that your average gameplay burst lasts about five seconds. In between these snippets of almost-playing, you get screens showing your points, as well as pointless rhymes that describe the level, which don't skip properly and last (literally) as long as your gameplay does. The one button system is interesting: ON is right, OFF is left, so tapping a button repeatedly makes you go in something like a straight line. I'd already seen it in Mindwinder, a game by Foon that has since been removed, and I doubt it's intentional plagiarism.
GOD Fishie Fishie is annoying. So much that I half-believe it's supposed to be so. Your fish starts spewing out pleas for food when he gets to within a half-second of starving, and the screen flashes red with the word "EAT!" When he dies, he destroys any feelings of relief you may have had by sharing his idiotic thoughts on his situation from beyond the grave ("What the... Oh wow! I'm dead! Weird!" makes me want to strangle the little bugger's bony remains.) Not to mention the godawful graphical choices, like spinning "WELL DONE" signs, etc.
At least Peggle had DIFFERENT annoying animals giving you stupid hints every five seconds. At least Peggle had VARIETY. Fishie Fishie represents what casual games might become if people succumb to these mindless ideas instead of picking up a book or somothing constructive (and what the hell, I actually enjoyed Peggle). This game made me feel bad about downloading it, so maybe it's an antidote? Farbs made a game so mind-numbingly stupid that it has made me feel bad about playing stuff like this to kill time, and in that, Fishie Fishie is successful. God knows if it has more than like, ten levels.

The most addictive of the three is Rom Check Fail. Rom Check Fail deconstructs the elements of your favourite old SNES games that you quite possibly have acquired on those Rom things I hear you can find on the internet. However, your emulator has malfunctioned and spews out glitched versions of the games, mixing heroes and enemies of all your favourite games. Jacques Derrida would be proud. Admittedly I can't recognise like, half of them, but each is unique and offers a variety of different perspectives on the gameplay. Every few seconds, as you're attempting to use your randomly-assigned vessel to kill the random monsters, the screen will glitch, and come out the other side with a brand new layout. Though your map stays the same, until you complete the level, everything else - backdrop, music, block design, enemies, player - changes to something else.
This sounds unplayable. Indeed sometimes it may as well be - like when the x-dimension-bound Space Invaders ship goes up against the ghosts from Gauntlet (apparently). But on the other hand, I always wanted to see what would happen if top-down Link was fighting the gravity-affected Koopas. It works.
The gameplay, expanding on the principles of Fishie Fishie, builds upon the assumption that you are playing videogames because your short attention span won't exactly carry you through War and Peace. It gives you about 3 seconds between glitches, and once you've beaten all 20 levels, delighting in a montage of famous end-game screenshots, well, you go back and do them again. Only faster. The entire game shifts up a notch each time, so that once you're on your 4th run-though (my record), the game struggles to keep up, as enemies fly through walls and go far too fast for you to react. When you restart, what you thought was the fast pace of the game feels like you're playing it on the moon. Here the game deconstructs itself, shifting your perspective of the game while you're playing it, as two things the same seem so much different, like that one optical illusion.
But it's also really addictive. Like Polychromatic Funk Monkey, Farbs nails the pacing of this game, the lives system works perfectly to ensure fairness and challenge, not making it drag on invincibly but not being a one-hit kill scenario either. My main complaint is the lack of a volume control. While I acknowledge that the game works best with sound, it's also frickin' loud, so I usually play it with my speakers muted. But maybe that's another self-conscious element, I mean there could very easily have been a mute button, but Farbs eschews it in favour of SNES authenticity. Yet in spite of the glitchy sounds and colours of a Nintendo eating itself, Rom Check Fail never annoys. Despite using the same micro-gameplay ideas of Fishie Fishie, Rom Check Fail also has brief pre-level breaks which actually don't bug me, like you need to assess how to tackle the enemy on each map and the game allows you to do that.
While I never particularly thought of videogames as art, I never thought of deconstructionism as entertainment. Yet Rom Check Fail can take Pacman eating Asteroids on a Zelda level with the backdrop of Mario and the tile design of DigDug while the Tetris theme song plays, and make it soom fun. We can now truly incorporate postmodernity into the gaming world.

Saturday, 13 December 2008

December blog update! YAY!

Pon Pon ^_^

Game stuff!

Well Left 4 Dead got released and it rocks, I truly don't play that game enough. When custom maps are added it's going to rock all the more as well. I've also been playing Earth's Special Forces (DBZ mod for HL1) with snugs a lot as well but no one seems to want to play it with us. Banjo Kazooie Nuts & Bolts got released as well, I've not played the first games but I love this one (I'm a sucker for physics games, hence me getting addicted to gmod quite often). My DS has broke even more than before (Where the touch screen didn't work properly at the edges) and now the speakers either don't work or work with really bad quality, annoyingly I'm not allowed to buy a new DS for some reason.

Other stuff

My computer course is going well and I now have my Cisco certification and to top it off we get a computer as a gift for passing the course (I still have the second half to pass like everyone else). I have found it stupidly hard to get a good trench coat or duster that fits and looks good at a half decent price (I am not paying £200 for a coat).

Also before I forget I'm a furry now. Deal with it.

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Thursday, 13 November 2008

November blog update!

Gunna take on a new way of posting things to the blog now. Going to go for monthly updates for stuff now, I'll be putting #doomsdays topic stuff here every month as well.

Topic stuff

Spore download, to be honest though Spore is really dissapointing.

A new Sins Of A Solar Empire download. This game is really awesome in my opinion.

I'm banning for posting shock links in doomsday currently.

Don't forget that you can watch youtube videos in a high definition by adding &fmt=18 to the end of the URL.

Other stuff

Me and Snugs have been playing Phantasy Star Blue Burst (PSO eps I, II and IV) lately, it's really good I played it once ages ago on the gamecube and got to the last boss on episode 1. That boss be crazy.

Left4Dead is out next tuesday, I've been playing the demo and screwing about with the console making the zombie waves larger and stuff (And watched Snugs fight off a horde of 500 zombies over skype XD). I can see this being really good and challenging (considering that it takes a little bit to get to the end of map 2 on expert I imagine fully completing it will be difficult. And hell if it isn't I can always increase the mob size and zombie health).

Fallout 3 is a good game as well but I don't think it's as close to the originals as I'd have like (It's more Oblivion with guns than Fallout 3) but it's still good. Dead Space is really fucking creepy, 10/10 on the horror factor (Hell it even scares FireDevil). I found Fable 2 good but dissapointing, SaintsRow 2 completely met my expectations. I've been playing a lot of quake 3 at my course during my spare time and have found that I'm really good at it.

I got an R4 cartridge for my DS on Tuesday, it's really awesome being able to play my MP3s and check out text files and the like on my DS. Being able to carry my game collection around on one cartridge is sweet as well.

Oh and I entered the MTG tournament on the metanet forums and had a practice match with Kablizzy after he told me how to make my deck in apprentice and I won the match!

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

J-Rock song of the week #16

Clever Sleazoid by Dir en grey

The lyrics are freaking hilarious, I also regrettably announce that "J-Rock song of the week" will be discontinued until this blog shows some sort of activity.

PS. If I accidently post a song next week it's out of pure habit. ):